Overcoming with Confidence

The story of a young lady on a mission...

When Tamara told me that I was going to be writing a blog entry for the website, I have to admit, I was sort of intimidated. I’ve always had this “thing” about avoiding things I feel are out of my element. I tend to shut down and my confidence temporarily dwindles. What do I have to offer the world that someone with more experience and credentials has not already provided? What could I possibly say that can make an impact? Then I got to think…”Tinisha. Your life in itself is a testament of overcoming with confidence”.

I remember moving back in with my parents with two toddlers. I had an associate’s degree in criminal justice but I has not working in the field. I had just gotten out of a toxic relationship and really didn’t have a plan to move forward. I knew I had “something” to offer, but having the motivation to find that “something” was easier said than done. Most people assumed that my motivation was my two beautiful little girls and yes eventually they were. Truth is, my drive was not where is needed to be. I was not hungry. That was the end of 2012. I have since graduated from a four year university and have been working with at risk youth both part-time and full time. I am also in my last two semesters of grad school. Let’s just say I had a MAJOR wake-up call/divine intervention, with a little help and encouragement along the way.

The cliché, you learn from your mistakes, is still a powerful statement. Mistakes also act as motivation to discover who you are supposed to be. Here’s some of what I have learned thus far on my journey:

1.      FIND YOUR VILLAGE. Sometimes it’s hard to admit to people you’re broken. There are even times you have become fragile and vulnerable.  You are so desperate for a lifeline and end up choosing the wrong people to mend your broken pieces. Most people are not bad people. They are just not good for you. But your village…your village is those individuals who support you. They are there when times are good and they are there when times are bad. They text you randomly to see how you are doing. They call you to make sure you are okay. They tell you they love you and give you an encouraging word. The correct you in love and never make you feel less than what you were created for. They are your cheerleaders, your motivators. AND they baby sit! Your spirit connects with the individuals in your village. They know when something is right and pray when something is wrong. They are your big sisters, big brothers, spiritual mothers and fathers. You’ll be confident in who belongs in your village.

2.      BE AN INDIVIDUAL. Someone once quoted, “If everyone is thinking alike, someone is not thinking”. Everyone has something different to offer the world, big or small. Many people lose themselves trying to be what others assume they should be and not who they are destined to be. People often miss their “calling” trying to live up to other the standards of others. There is a BIG difference between guidance and control. Find people who will guide you to becoming a successful individual not control you into becoming who they think you are as an individual. Be confident in who you are.  

3.      BE CONFIDENT IN YOUR PURPOSE. To be confident in your purpose, you must know what your purpose is. This comes with self-discovery. Once you’ve determined your purpose, work toward fulfilling it. The road to self-discovery is not easy and walking in your purpose is equally difficult. You sometimes have to give up some things and unfortunately some people who are a hindrance on the journey. But remember the goal is discovering your purpose and being confident that you were created for whatever your purpose is.

I think I turned out alright. I am still on the road to self-discovery but my new state of mind has made the trip worthwhile. I find out new things about myself every day. I make mistakes, but I have the confidence to know I am a better person because I choose to learn from them. 

Renew Your Life!

Tinisha Pender is a counseling intern at Renewal Life Counseling.  She will graduate in 2018, with plans to continue her work facilitating the Girl's Empowerment Group and working with at-risk youth.